Ending a relationship is never easy. It takes us to places of intense pain. It is, however, a time when we can learn so much about ourselves. Here are 4 important things to do to get past your relationship and grow from it.

1. Look inside of yourself. Many times we focus on our partner and how many deficiencies he/she has. That might be true, but there is a reason why we chose to be with this deficient person and that is ours to own.

2. Be honest with yourself. If you find yourself giving excuses for everything that you do or whenever someone brings something up about you, there might be something hurting that is too painful to see. We all make mistakes and require forgiveness. We cannot forgive ourselves if we do not recognize that we made a mistake or that there is something that triggers us and we might react intensely.

3. Allow yourself to feel pain and hurt. Many times we want to ignore our pain and stop feeling it. We do not know what to do with it and are very critical towards ourselves for feeling it. The key to stop feeling pain is actually to feel it. When we create all these strategies to avoid our pain, we are actually increasing its intensity.

4. Be open to learning. Be curious about what might be going on inside of you. Be open to question how experiences have affected you and the way you relate with others. The only way of growing is by questioning, exploring, and finding answers which might generate new questions.

Looking inside of yourself will allow you to heal the wounds left by the end of your relationship in a deep and meaningful way. You will not only change how you see yourself but also how you relate with others.